The Lone Scarecrow
by lilchibisaku
Summary: There stood a scarecrow alone in the field. Then a man came along and took it home. kakairu oneshot


**The Lone Scarecrow (aka Kakashi the Scarecrow)  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. Blah.**

**A/N: Haha. Right now I should be writing my other 2 stories, but I slacked off. Yup, forever the lazy days of summer. One of the many things that make me feel lazy. This is a one-shot and a KakaIru pairing. I hope you like it. Please read and review. Thanks.**

**Since the break lines don't seem to be working. "69696969" is now there to show scene changes. The legend: "talking"... _thoughts..._ regular.  
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Summers had sunny days, the wind slowly blowing in between the straws and the crows were flying around in the small open field of Konoha. But in the middle, there stuck in the middle of the earth was a lone scarecrow. It spent many lazy summer days just basking in the sun's warmth and listening to the birds. He may have been raised to scare the birds but he loved them and allowed them to rest on his arms and hair.

But there was always that one day when it rained. And the birds and sun were gone and the straw man was all alone. The rain usually stopped after a day but it had rained for about a week now. Finally it had stopped and the animals came back only to scamper around collecting food that was left after the storm for the upcoming winter. The beautiful colors of red, orange, and green leaves flew all around him and he was once again content with just swaying in the cool breeze. Finally it thought I'm not alone anymore.

But at the end of autumn, he saw the animals disappearing one by one with their mates and families into their burrows. Desperately he tried to call out to them not to leave him out here. But they couldn't hear its pleas. So in its mind, it cried for days and nights. Animal after animal passed by and thought all was well. But he was incapable of movement, thus the poker face stayed.

Finally winter rolled along and it stood there on its little pole, knee high in snow. The scarecrow longed for someone to come pick his soggy self up from the ground and bring him home so he'd never be lonely again. Days passed and nothing came by.

The worst of the storms had finally hit and in an attempt to escape he'd broken his stick. He had intended to get away, but without his support pole, he'd fallen face forward right into the snow. _Please… someone help me…I don't want to be alone anymore. It hurts. _He wished one last time.

And in that one second, a man who had come out to cut off the top of a pine tree to use as his Christmas tree stumbled into the opening. The brown haired man was pulling around a 2 ft. mini-tree behind him. He scratched his scar and looked around him. _I think I'm lost. Sigh… and I was supposed to meet Naruto at Ichiraku. _Then he saw a broken stick and some straw covered in snow. He walked up to it and slowly brushed off the snow.

The tanned man turned the scarecrow over and looked at him. "What's a scarecrow doing out here?" he whispered. Then he blushed slightly as he looked more closely at the facial features. _Why would someone make a handsome scarecrow? I thought they were meant for scaring off crows…_He shrugged and decided that he should take it home and patch up the clothes he was wearing. Then he walked off with the scarecrow and its broken pole and his little tree.

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_Finally I got home in one piece. _ The man thought in exhaustion from wandering around for a few hours and then having to go run to Ichiraku only to have an angry Naruto on his hands. He dropped his keys on his nightstand before getting the tree decorations. He started decorating the tree when he remembered the scarecrow. He took out his sewing kit and picked up the scarecrow. He laid it across his lap and began sowing.

He finished the front side and turned it over only to find… an Icha Icha Paradisu book in one of its back pockets. _Why does a scarecrow have this perverted book? _Iruka's left eye twitched and he firmly grasped the thick book and chucked it into the open fireplace. The scarecrow gasped mentally as his precious porno book was ripped violently from his pocket and chucked not so gently into the unlit fireplace. _No! Not my Icha Icha Paradisu! Anything but that! _And it cried in a not-so-manly way.

Iruka got up promptly to find the fire starter so he could burn the explicit book and laugh a maniacal laughter as he thought _Burn in hell!_ In an attempt to save his book, he willed himself to move. Unknown to both the scarecrow and Iruka taking the beloved book away from him would cause its to wish to be able to move become true. And so in mid-movement, the scarecrow had changed from straws to flesh.

Iruka, who had returned with the fire starter and some gas for the book to burn faster, returned to find the scarecrow moving rapidly towards the fireplace. He watched in amazement as the straws seemed to disappear and be replaced with skin. In shock, he dropped the starter and gas can. The scarecrow, who was unaware about what just happened, grabbed his book from the fireplace and sat down just to caress the book lovingly.

Suddenly he froze. Why didn't he hear the scraping of his straws and why was he moving? He dropped his book to look down at his arms only to find that they were replaced with human limbs. He flipped his hand back and forth in amazement. Then he looked up expectantly to the passed out man in front of him.

_I'm human…_he thought and then grinned under his mask. He crawled over to the other man and lifted his hand up to touch Iruka's cheek. He blushed at how soft the chuunin's cheek felt and how beautiful he looked. The scarecrow smiled happily as he thought of how nice the chuunin was to bring him home to repair his clothes for him even though he threw his precious book in the fireplace.

So he stuck his book into his back pocket and lifted Iruka up bridal style. He padded his way up to the other rooms. He kicked down the doors to see which was the bedroom. Happily he laid his Iruka onto the bed and skipped off to find the bathroom.

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A slightly chilly breeze blew in through the open window and the tanned chuunin turned over to snuggle more into the warmth as he sleepily wished the cold away. His eyes snapped open as he realized that one, he slept in his boxers. Two, he always made sure to close the windows and doors in case any of his stalkers tried to sneak in. And three, he was sure that he didn't go to sleep with anyone in his bed last night. He had passed out.

Slowly, he lifted his head from the others chest only to be met with a man with silver hair and a mask over his face. The masked man in response sleepily blinked his eyes and mumbled half asleep to go back to sleep and let him rest. He pulled Iruka closer to him so he could snuggle more and then dozed off. Iruka blushed heavily and swore he heard something about birds and his arms. Angrily, he hit the man and he woke up with a yelp.

"What was that for!" the man yelled angrily rubbing his head. Iruka's vein popped out and he yelled, "I don't know you and you're already trying to molest me in my sleep you pervert!" In the Hokage's office, Sarutobi lifted his head from his pillow and wiped his drool from his face. "Iruka! I'm sorry! I wasn't sleeping on the job!" he said fearfully. The hokage realized that Iruka wasn't around and that he screamed something about molesting and perverts. He chuckled evilly and dozed back to sleep, deciding that he should get his 8 hours of sleep.

The masked man looked amused and laughed a bit. "You were the one who picked me up!" He didn't know how wrong it sounded to Iruka and he just blurted out, "Picked you up? I don't think I ever tried to seduce anyone!" The man's one eye widened before tearing up and started rolling on the ground laughing uncontrollably. Iruka covered his mouth when he realized that wasn't what he meant and he blushed in embarrassment.

"Shut up." He said looking away. "How was I supposed to know you were the scarecrow? I passed out once I saw you."

The silver haired man coughed and wiped his eye before talking. "Heh… nice to know you remember. I'm Hatake Kakashi. Former scarecrow, occupier of your bed."

"Umino Iruka. Teacher."

"Hmm… dolphin." He slightly whispered liking the new nickname. Unfortunately the silver haired man the chuunin's ears which have been sharpened from years of teaching honed in on his voice like spidey-senses (not mine… it's from Spiderman) and caught it. "Did you just call me dolphin?" he said in a calm but angry voice. Kakashi looked sheepish and grinned under his mask. "Oh you heard that?"

"Of course I did! And what's with that grin!" Oh. This was going to be one fun lifetime.

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"IRUUUKAAAAAAHHH!" A blonde spiky haired whined and bounced in his seat impatiently. "You were suppose to be here 30 minutes ago! You were never late before, until you met him!" The hyperactive boy jabbed his index finger accusingly at the silver haired jounin. He glared at him and stuck up his nose. Apparently he was still angry that his father-like figure had been stolen away by some lazy jounin. He had no idea why the hokage allowed a man like that to become a nin. It was so unfair.

The black haired man next to him rolled his eyes and looked the other way to pretend he didn't know him. Of course it never worked because everyone already knew those two were rivals. "Shut up dobe." Naruto turned his glare onto Sasuke and growled, "Why don't you shut up, teme."

Sasuke smirked. "Make me." Naruto stood up violently from the booth and grabbed his collar looking down at him. "Let's go." He was ready to take it outside when Sakura who was sitting in the little corner of the booth next to Naruto began fuming. She stood up and smacked Naruto back into his seat. "Shut up stupid!" His eyes teared up. "Sakura-chan… why are you so mean!"

The forgotten Iruka just sweat dropped at the scene while Kakashi stood casually next to him laughing silently as he read his Icha Icha. Iruka smacked Kakashi's head. "Do you have to read that EVERYWHERE?" he hissed out emphasizing the everywhere. "Well not everywhere." Kakashi replied cheekily as Iruka just glared at him when he caught the double meaning.

Sigh. "Naruto, I'm sorry. This is the best I can do with him." The scarecrow looked offended and then replied, "Actually… we did run into some trouble. The old lady down the block just broke her back and we helped her back into her house. Right Ruka-chan?" He just sighed and agreed.

"Lies!" Sakura and Naruto shouted at Kakashi standing in the same exact positions as each other. "How about we all just come to our house and do Christmas there instead of here?" Iruka suggested wanting to keep them all happy.

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Sighing happily, the scarecrow snuggled into their bed with his arms wrapped around his precious dolphin. This was definitely 100 times better than lying lazily in the open field alone. "Kashi… go to sleep." Because now with his Ruki-chan, he could do all that and never be alone again, just what he asked for.

Random Chat 

Chibi-san: … exactly how did you know where the bathroom is if you were out in the field your whole life?

Kakashi: (looks up from Icha Icha and scratches his head) Well. There was the tub… and a toilet… and a sink. It was kinda hard to figure everything out. (looks away casually) I got sprayed in the face the first time I turned the knob. My clothes and Icha Icha got wet.

Chibi-san: (sweat drops) … You seriously bring that everywhere don't you.

Kakashi: (grins and hugs the book) Of course! It's my whole life!

Iruka: YOUR. WHOLE. LIFE?

Kakashi: W-well… Until I met you.

Iruka: … I don't believe you.

Kakashi: I'm not lying this time! Iruka! Wait!

Chibi-san: Um. I'll be going now. Thanks for reading!


End file.
